I Cant Understand How Life Goes On The Way It Does

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

2006-06-06T20:02:00.000+08:00

A nice story. Touches my heart....A friend send this to me. And Im sharing it to you people. Long story. But its worth it.

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

The Problem With Gals And Guys!!

2006-05-21T15:05:00.000+08:00

The problems with GALS:
If u TREAT her nicely, she takes u for granted;
If u Don't, she says u dun care bout her.
If u DRESS Nicely, she says u are trying to lure other gals;
If u Don't, she says ur lazy.
If u ARGUE with her, she says u are ungentlemanly;
If u keep QUIET, she says u have no opinion.
If u are SMARTER than her, she'll feel lost out;
If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT.
If u don't Love her, she tries to hound you;
If u Love her, she will hang herself up to sell.
If u don't make love with her, she says u fool around outside;
If u do!! she says u are desperate.
If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are a weakling;
If u don't, she says that u don't confide in her.
If u SCOLD her, she feels ill-treated;
If she SCOLDS u, it is because she has your interests at heart.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, she says she doesnt mean anything to you;
If she BREAKS hers, she pretends nothing happend.(haha)
If u SMOKE, u are smelly;
If she SMOKES, she's THE woman of times.
If u do WELL in your exams, she says ok lor;
If she does WELL, she wants a treat.
If u HURT her, u are a beast; If she HURTS u, u deserved it!!

The problems with GUYS:
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL; If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!

Top 10 Woman Drivers....

2006-05-16T16:34:00.000+08:00

AND THE WINNER IS......you guys ready??

Social Workers

2006-05-14T03:39:00.000+08:00

I have decided. Rather than bumming around at home doing nothing, I would like to devote myself to charitable works. These past few weeks have made me realise what sort of person I am. I have gone thru experiences. This life is just a facade. I would learn the ropes one day. But now, there are people out they who needs our able bodied guidance and intellects. I have send out a few applications for my services. Namely Movement for the Intellectually Disabled of Singapore or MINDS and also Morning Star Community Services. But I do wanna be with MINDS. Why them? I believe they need us to be their pillars of strength.

It may not be a glamorous jobs. But the spiritual attainment you will receive, the joys and laughter of these wonderful people will make your heart as glamorous as you want it to be. Oh well. Now I just need to wait for their replies.

Top 10 break up lines..

2006-05-13T17:36:00.000+08:00

1. Looking back at the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What was I thinking?

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed in hell until I met you.

3. Before you go, I would like you to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again.

4. When we were together, you always said you would die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

5. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?

6. I've always wanted to have someone to hold and love. After meeting you, I've changed my mind.

7. Some day I hope to get married, but not to you.

8. You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life-jacket, I'm going to miss you and think of you often.

9. We have been dating for a very long time. What do you say we call it quits?

10. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me.

2006-04-30T18:13:00.000+08:00

im too lazy too blog. contradicting?? i dunno for myself too. hahah
anyway...lets start afresh. hahaha...soon.

movies movies

2006-04-15T15:30:00.000+08:00

hahah...the entire week wad spent hanging out with buddies. good old buddies. i know this sounds silly....but for me it isnt...i watched 3 movies in a week!! hahah isnt tat cool...?? on tuesday...watch keeping mum. excellent show. then wednesday...ice age 2. quite rubbish. i use to love this kind of animation...but not this one. dunno why. the last one...on friday... i watch...tristan and isolde. oh my freaking ass... i luv the show. its sooooo nice. a very good love epic. better than romeo and whoever tat bitch name is. hmmm... maybe i wanna check out the new old cathay. always walk pass it. but never been inside. looks cool though. i heard the seatings are so plush and comfy. cant wait... hahaha

rendezvous....

2006-04-13T00:53:00.000+08:00

Woke at 2 this afternoon. oh my gawd. im getting worst every day... hahaha. well...cleaned the entire house. then i look at the clock...and YIKES!!! its 430! and jean is cuming to sg at 6!! hahah... i quickly showered and had my meal. well...i dun wan to be late...and i caught a cab to the airport. man... never take a cab to airport from woodlands. it cost a BOMB!!! hahaah was just in time to fecth jean. we headed down to hotel rendezvous... and decided to have some italian cuisine. And JULI...remember the cafe we ate and met up with who is tat gal name...ah yes nina... yeah...the cafe is no more. hahah.. had seafood spaghetti and some red wine. superb food i tell you. went back to the hotel and watch some tv before i realise that its getting late and i got to go back home. hahaha

oh well...i dun noe y...but today seems sucky for me... hmmmm

Keeping Mum

2006-04-11T23:30:00.000+08:00

woke up at 12 today!! yikess...so late. haha...then went to the kitchen and heat up some food. went online on msn. and andrew nudge me. i just luv the concept of nudging ppl. dun u??...hmm..anyway... yeah..he finished his classes early and ask me to go to town with him. and i did. while on the train...i saw this kid carrying a super super super huge teddy bear. i mean...its bigger than her for goodness sake. man... her parents must have love her alot till buying her a large size teddy. oh well... shop ard for a new hp too...its shitty to think tat i lost a hp which was dear to me. oh well..saw a few that i like...but maybe survey ard first. oh well..caught a movie. Keeping Mum!... by rowan atkinson!..i shld say...its a superb show. a must watch..hahaha...there is killing involve but its not a thriller. theres sex involve but its not a love story. theres God involve..but its not about Him either. hahah...really funny show. and mr atkinson role is not the usually hyper comical character. he potrays himself rather well here in the film. hahah oh well.. tomolo going to entertain a foreigner again...this time a friend from KL... geeshh...im so tired of entertaining ppl. hahaha oh well...nitey nite!!

yawn..

2006-04-09T16:37:00.000+08:00

didnt had a good night sleep last night. hahah..too cold i assume. anyway... was at the esplanade yesterday. went to this restaurant...something amor or wad...im not sure..hmmm...anyway...the food was superb. service was excellent!!...and ive fallen in love with one of the servers... SHIT!! lol...tats another story anyway.
so yeah...this morning..woke up..and had breakfast at swissotel stamford. think it was more of brunch. hahah... buffet was nice.. but not to my liking. hmm...im too fussy. oh well...went to the supermarket...and brought some groceries... wonder what i will be cooking tonight... hahaha oh well..

Life sucks

2006-04-08T12:47:00.000+08:00

Ok. I have not blog for quite some time. U know why?..because life sucks. yeah. life sucks! I lost my handphone. I quarrelled with a friend. Things did not go my ways. I feel like life is going downhill. Arrgghh... oh well.. !! So now what?... dunno..

Anyway.. I just woke up now. Will be going to raffles swissotel later. a friend from brussels will be stgaying there. his flight in is estimated 330pm. hmm..wonder where shall i bring him for dinner later. maybe the esplanade's gluttons bay....the makansutra ones...

2006-03-30T17:21:00.000+08:00

Seafood.

2006-03-27T00:26:00.000+08:00

Nothing much happen today. Met up with my mum and entertain few of her friends. I drove them to Straits View and have seafood there in Johor. All sat behind!! WTF?? All feeling feeling Datin Datin. hahahaha hmm... and met up with charles and his gf and her lil bro near to my johor home. will be leaving for singapore tomorrow morning. finally....hahaha hmm...the weekend was kinda lame la. nuthin much happen. sighh....oh well...currently hearing the song.... Im leaving on a jet plane... sigh... time goes by so fast....

another addition to my family...

2006-03-24T23:30:00.000+08:00

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee......got a new baby in my family!!...hahh no no...not a human. hahah but a car. daddy bought a new car. he bought a mpv this time. can seat 7 ppl. hahah... its so cool... well.. he said that he bought it so that one day ...all of us can go out together in one car. normally if were to go out...there will be... sis and bro in law...baby sis...me...mum and dad. wont be enough to seat in one car. hahah...oh well...but daddy say...he will use mums car. cos he dun wan to go to work in a big car. lol... so mum gotta learn handle the mpy. hahah well...wats so unique abt the plate numbers is....both cars has the same numbers. 7373. hahah cool eh. first time driving a mpv...it felt great. it was like those time in army driving the rexton around. hahaha weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...maybe this time...can go drive up KL with my friends. hahaha oh well...

YOUR MAJESTY!!!

2006-03-18T23:56:00.000+08:00

Wow....i have not blogged for a long time now. Hahaha...ben very busy with stuffs. kinda. hahaha oh well...so what have i done these past weeks....lemme se....apart from slacking.... i colored my hair!!! YEY!!! hahaha but its nuhtin. oh Well.... now if u all remembered in my long ago post.... i showed u all a pic of the woman of life!! hahahah SHE CAME TO SINGAPORE LAST THURSDAY nite!!! how cool is tat!... finally huh. Well...for u guys info...her full name is... Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor. hahaha 80 but still full of elegance and class. cool huh. i really luv her hats. oh well...she arrived on thursday nite. then she was ushered to raffles hotel. raffles hotel security was back by gurkhas guards. hahaha cool huh. on friday she head of to national library then visit toa payoh. hhehehe....on saturday...she went to turf club...before flying back home. sad huh. but for ur info....she is of great importance you know. tats y she was given a full colonel as an escort and aide. our president gets a major...lol oh well....here are pics of her visits.... enjoy....lol

its over!!...sorta..hahah

2006-03-05T16:25:00.001+08:00

foooh. just got back from interview a few hours ago. damn shack. last night couldnt sleep due to my excitedness. hahaha....then morning met sara to go to the hotel. woah....quite a lot turn up for the interview. oh well....we were soon ushered to be seated at a ball room. we were to watch a video on the company. then was a talking and sharing session. talk abt salary...accomodation....benefits.... and what not. was surreeee damn boriiiing listening to people talk for nearly an hour.
finally its over and they told us to hand in our resume to them personally. we were told that they will call us between 1 to 4 today if any of us are short listed. PLS DO NOT CALL US they mentioned. hahahah funny. oh well.... i had no confident in securing the job anyway. hahah
at 2 just now my phone rang and i was informed that i was short listed for tomorrow interviews!! yeah!!! hahaha felt so happy. but dunno can make it or not tomolo. oh well...now got to iron my shirt again and find new tie to wear. tomolo same thing... must wear suit. erghhh.... hahaha walk ard with a coat in my hand just now. felt like yuppies!! hahaha

oh well...i just hope for the best. if not....i could always find other jobs which interests me. hahah but seriously....my gut feelings says its onli 20% chance i will get in. shitty rite....oh well...till tomolo then...

busy busy busy!!

2006-03-03T20:27:00.000+08:00

weeee.....im going for my first major job interview this coming sunday. oh well....this is what i want...so i have to be brave and strong. hahaha but first.... i got to do so many things. the problem with all these big companies is that they gave u such a short notice to get ready. grrrr hahah anyway... i need to do my cover letter....resume.... oh god...need to get a business suit.... arrgghh....where am i suppose to get one??. hahhaha my friend was asking whether im appying for CEO post....thats y need a suit...hahhaa. i really hate wearing suit. hahah oh well....try something new.

hmm...hopefully im able to secure the position. was hoping to get it. argghh...butterflies....please go away from my stomach. thanks.

BIG MOMMAAAA!!!

2006-03-01T22:08:00.000+08:00

hahahah met up with Dan at city square jb today!!....we laze ard at starbucks before making our way to watch movies...decided to catch big momma house!! hahaha so funny i tell ya!!... laugh till my heart drop!...hmmmm wth!!?....hahha anyway...thanks DR Sun for meeting up with me and chillz out with me. really appreciate it. hhaha...after the show ended...made our way back to singapore. hahah to think i had to smuggle in ciggaretes for someone!! hahaha oh well....its just one pack...no harm i guess. oh well....maybe i go jb again on sunday or sumtin. hahaha

hmmm....i just installed broadband at my jb home as well. hahah pestered my mum to get internet. finally she gave in to me. hahaha after so much persuasion!! phewww!! hahaha.... now i can be online wherever i may be....unless im at london...or california...or indonesia...or america...or hk...or...oh well...u got the point. i stop blabbering nonsense now...thanks again Dan.

Pink Panther....

2006-02-26T12:02:00.000+08:00

seriously...i wasnt a fan of pink panther old series.... but when all the ppl who watch the movie says its good....i watched it. hahaha i was laughing non stop at the show.... hahaha its really good!! and beyonce look hot in the show. lol.... really really like it. oh yeah.... hahaha

oh well...today is sunday....hmmm wonder what shall i do today.... hhaha tomorrow maybe going to jb for a few days.... go for some shopping and eat seafood. maybe i wanna ask dad cook spaghetti. really really craving for his spaghetti. hmmmm last night a friend told me his mom cooked lamb. WOW...so nice....i like lamb. maybe ask me mum cook lamb shank as well. woooPPIII......the other day my dad cooked sup tulang. but sadly did not get to taste it as some things cropped up....hahaha oh yeah.... someone gave me Godiva chocolates. hmmm i must say...it taste....well....hmmm if u r reading this...i suppose i must say thank you....but the chocolate taste of....lemme see.... coffee?...no...hmm...i really dun noe... all i noe its just BITTER... ahhaha no offense.

oh well...time to clean the house. mom really should not bring the maid with her. now i got to clean the house...do my own laundry... scavenge my own food....hahah wth scavenge? i really love staying alone...but mom....i need help with this kind of help...hahaha anyways....
ITS MY ONE WEEK ANNI of MY ORD!!! YIPPPEEE!!! lameeee...... ahhaah

woHHoooo!!

2006-02-22T22:12:00.000+08:00

ok ok...so today as i was on the way home from malaysia....i saw the car again!...hahaha a hyundai matrix with a nice number plate!! its.... SE 1 X hahahah from far it looks like sex to me...
cool huh.... its funny...
saw even BED6969. Ironic rite!! hahaha oh well.. yeah....then i got the feeder bus home. just my luck....a bunch of nuisance lower secondary school monkeys sit at my back!...oh my gawd!! really really really irritating sons and daughters of a BITCH!! talking as though they own the entire world!hahah i look at them with disgust and shake my head. errgghh....these kids nowadays....trying to act tough when indeed they are just puny!! lol and the girls for goodness sake!! do u all really think by being like a MINAH is good!?? hahha oh my gawd! my sympathies to all of ya!!....study hard first....then can become a MYNAH to wat i care also!! aiyoh...kid kids kids....u all just need to take a look at yourself.... if ur home mirror cannot then i reckon u stand in front of a train and let it hit u. the after effect is just wat u all look like!! stupid monkeys!!

FINALLY the day has arrived!

2006-02-17T19:35:00.000+08:00

well guys!....i got my pink ic back already. happy?...of cos! sad?....of cos too!....sigghh....as i left camp in green for the final time...an uneasy feeling occurs. suddenly tears filled up my eyes. i feel sad leaving the cobra nest. a home that had been mine for near 2 years or so. a home that has been my laughter and pain. a home that i have grown fond of. but i know this day has to come. so here i am....facing a new world out there. cause i know...im a big boy now. hehehe im now a NSman!! but with a heavy heart....i said my goodbyes. sigghh....but of cos....live still go on. and im gonna make it happen!....prove to the cobras that they have nurtured me well. im gonna be successful and jolly well will prove it!! but for now....ORD loh!!! heehehe

this Succkss....

2006-02-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

well guys...this is it. tomorrow my stint in the army will be over at the end of the day. my years in green has been fruitful for me. i will leave camp tomorrow feeling happy and sad at the same time. made lots of friends. lots of scandals. lots of conspiracies. hahaha .... to all that has nurture me...a million thanks!!well... tonight...i will be ironing my uniform. folding my smartest four. polishing my boots. tomorrow i will don the uniform and and tell myself this....i will be loyal to this uniform and country till i attend the mindef reserve parade. to those who do not know what is mindef reserve...it means...those people who do not need to serve their reservist anymore...haha cool huh. but of course....if i were to get rich along the way and migrate out....i dont think i can make it for the parade....hahaha fat hope. oh well...tonight i will have a good night sleep. cos tonight is the last night of nsf service for me.....may i be at peace tomorrow.

SHOPPING TIME!!.....for groceries....

2006-02-12T15:43:00.000+08:00

just got back from ntuc. bought stuffs that could last me a week. hahah...its tough staying alone sometimes. haizz....what to do. met up with andrew first for breakfast....then played bowling!! GAWD....ive been playin bowling so frequently now. haah...then off to the supermarket. Waaahhhh.....so many grannies and aunties there. i feel like one of them. hahaha bought the usual stuffs....chicken, fish.....thinking of taking meat...but too expensive. hahaha and not to mention tedious to cook. so i got myself a nice steak. hahah...thats my dinner later. haizz....a week more before i officially got back my license. no...no class 3. that one i have already. my freedom from the army. yeeeaaahhhhhaa!!! hahaha

oh well....but then again...kinda sad to leave the people that i had bond with. oh well...life goes on... and i could always visit them again...lol

headache!!

2006-02-11T12:34:00.000+08:00

arrrGGGGhh....i got a splitting headache!!......aiyoh....must be because of yesterday!....aiyoh....cannot take it...!! hahaha.

friday was a hectic day for me. morning i went to collect my class 3 civilian lic. then after that...afternoon....went to watch casanova at lot 1 with sara. hahah...i must tell u.... the show is superb!!.....a must watch show. hahaha...so...yeah...then i went home to shower and met andrew...and walk ard town and bugis. hahah.... after that met up with sara and west at brewerks. drank golden ale and india ale. oh me gosh!!....it is suuuper superb!!....hahaha think sara got drunk....cos sara was blabbering nonsense. hahaha...me?...well...a bit high....but sober la. think their home brewed beer is still the best!....can feel the kick....which is now kicking in my head!! arrrrggggGGGhhhh again! hang ard till closing time...then sara feeling2 proffesional photographer....take pic here...take pic there....hahaha.....

oh well...i automatically flunked out went i reach home!!....GRRR so tired!!...lol

Monday blues.....

2006-02-06T21:57:00.000+08:00

My mom and dad is finally back!! YiippEEE....hahaha so happy for them. fetch them at the airport... but first...got to have all the drama of hugging and crying when the came out. hahaha....so hollywood....! anyway....earlier on...i had my dental ffi!....such a bad experience...don think i will talk about it. i will let SAF hotline people handle it. so....yeah... i was walking towards the mrt...and i saw couples....lots of them today...hhaha...then when i board the train..i met a friend who coiincidently going to meet his other half as well. suddenly...i felt lonely. sighh....dunno why. i mean....friends you can have many. but that emptiness in your heart still need to be filled. BAH!! i had such a bad expereince in love. ive been it all. but you do get lonely sometimes...that i will have to admit....hmmm....there is this particular song....i really like the song and lyrics.... this is part of the lyrics.....

Don't tell me what is all about,'
Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out,
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you fall in love?
You get enough tears to fill an ocean
That's what you get for your devotion.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow.
So, for at least until tomorrow,
I'll never fall in love again!
I'll never fall in love again!

cool huh....it really reminds me of myself the song...hahah....too emotional now Herwan!! stop it!! hahaha but i really do feel vulnerable sometimes without someone caring for you....siiighh
oh well... i read this somewhere....ur bf/gf is like a bra. wear it too tite and it will suffocate. wear it too loose...and it will go off....hahah...dunno laa...you guys figure it out ok...

2006-02-05T11:40:00.000+08:00

WiiiiPEE.....parents comin back tomorrow noon time!!...hahha wats so sucky abt it is...i got to go for my dental ffi then rush to the airport on time for their arrival.... sucky right!! ....oh well...i wonder what presents they are giving me.....hahaha oh yah...my stinit in the army is finishing real soon...yup yup...less than 2 weeks now...hahahah

yesterdae i went to shen tao sa. waaaa....so nice this years sentosa flowers exhibit. you all should go there and visit it....!! hahaha oh well...there is so many things i wanna say....but i think i hold it first.....hahaha

2006-02-04T10:37:00.000+08:00

yawNn....so sleepy... Yikes....its only 10 40!!?? hahah just got home. woke up real early today. me and andrew went to adam road to eat the nasi lemak....SUper YUMMY! lol even tah pau an extra packet for me...cos i noe im gonna get hungry again....hahaha....got sambal squid...fried chicken and fish...ikan bilis....wah....its been quite some time since i ate nasi lemak this nice... hhaha...hmm....

heard abt the sentosa flower thingy....a friend says its nice... beatiful la...maybe will go there one of these days.

anyway...my parents will be coming back on monday!....yiipppee!! no more long distance calls that has shot up my bill!! yawn....realli dunno what to blog now....cos im soo tired....shldnt have woke up at 5 just now....errmm....ye guys....im gonna be a sleeping belle now...

tat time of year....

2006-01-28T21:26:00.000+08:00

WEeeeee!! its that time of year again....wat time?....tiger time!! hahah i noe i noe im being lame....! well..its that time of year where a distant relative of mine would invite me to their home. its the time where my local supermarket would be pack. its the time where fish use to be $4 a kg now up by 100% to $8 a kg!!! WOOIT!! its the time where my neighbour home would be filled with people and not to mention its the time where they will give me some goodies!! yum yum!! its the time where the tv will show some nice nice movies. its the time where most shops will be closed. its the time where people will buy willow plants. i did too. its the time where prices of oranges is astronomical. well...some place is cheap though. its the time where the bank has long line in it. its the time where people cook nice nice dishes. its the time where last day of school before it..pupils will wear their ethnic costumes. its the time where public transport will be fully utilized as in pack!! its the time where the younger generations go clubbing rather than or after their reunion dinner. its the time where prices of abalone is HIGH. oh well....the list goes on....but im happy for the long holidays though. hehehe...to all my chinese friends and whoever celebrating.........

Happy Chinese New Year.....don forget the hang baos.....

suicide....

2006-01-27T23:30:00.000+08:00

......fuck the poets of the past my friends. there are no beautiful suicides. just cold corpses and shit in their pants. and the end of the gifts....... this is an exerpt from a poem which tells suicidal ppl that they are no such thing as pretty death. so no offense....to those people who are extremely sad or depress....but killing urself will just make it worst... i mean....why the sudden topic of suicide...?....well...i receive a call today from a friend tellim me how sad she is and stuffs. and thinking of killing herself and what not. i mean....its so irritating to hear you repeating it over and over again abt comitting suicide. GET A LIFE pls. i mean...if u r realli keen in killing urself...pls do not tell me. i would rather hear it from the CHANNEL NEWS ASIA. no offense... but this is not ur first time.... anyway...on a lighter note.......im just wondering when i will get a reply from PAP youth committee on my becoming a member of them....its been a week, hmm..am i rejected?...hahaha hope not.

routine....

2006-01-24T20:49:00.000+08:00

mAN.....its becoming a routine already and im getting used to it alreadi.....this is sooo bad. wat is it??...well...my waking up and eat and sleep and eat and sleep everyday without doing anything. this is so bad man. hahaha.....im getting lazy. the urge to go out is there though. but dunno where to go. hahaha finally will be going back camp tommorow. on duty. hahah my last duty i think for my stint in the army. hahaha then time to clear stuffs clear locker clear bunk and then clear off!! hahaha ORD. oh well.... hopefully friday i could find time to go Chinatown. i wanna enjoy the holiday atmosphere and crowd. must be fun. wanna survey any cheap and nice mahjong sets... need to get one... cos im on my way to be a MAHJONG king!! haah oh well peeps.... see ya!!...hahha

bookS bookS....

2006-01-22T12:12:00.000+08:00

So...recently i went on a library spree....hahah...wat do tat mean u may ask...well basically i went to lots and lots of library ard singapore. hahah. why...? because im just bored at home. hahah first stop was the national library....waaaahhh....so big. hahhaa...so much fun going up and down in the lift. hahah...then...to toa payoh. have not been there since my primary school days and man...has it change a lot. likee duuuh. hahaha ok ok...then went to jurong. kinda small....nothing much there.....and my final stop was woodlands. i borrowed only from woodlands cause there is no way im going to central or south or west just to return library books....hahah... woodlands library now got too much of small kiddies oogling at guys...i mean...when i reach there...there so many pri sch girls...like...like....MAN WATCHING!! goodness....this children....and not to mention secondary sch children who goes there to ppl watching rather than studying or book reading. man....hahha anyway....i borrowed a couple of fiction books....then i decided to check out the childrens section. and...tadaaaaa......i was my old time fav book. comic actually...hahah ASTERIX!! cool comic man!....borrowed two as well....heeee....then off back home ....hahah that concludes my outing. mwhahaha cioazzzz!

thinking back of......

2006-01-18T00:16:00.000+08:00

haiz.....

it's the time of the night...where u have got nothing else on your mind...all by urself in the room...listening to an old yet meaningful song.....u suddenly think of the past....

thinking of how my once precious has been.....

pondering over to leave a message....

fliping through the pages......

at this very small corner i saw .......

and this is what my once precious wrote

" Lastly, i should mention the loves of my life. You know who you are. People come n go and they once played the most important role in my life. They left sweet memories and lessons to be learnt. If loves dun last den we shall let frenship takes over.

To those people who make me who i am, thank u very much. I am a better person becoz of u. "

browsing thru my once precious pics...

i saw ....

the necklace that i bought still hangs nicely down on my once precious neck...

the pic that i took for my once precious when we went to KL....

the lovely cat , that i misses so badly....

nobody says it was gonna be easy this way....nobody but the one in it knows how the feeling is like to be this way...

move on...is a very common thing to all....but easy said then done...i ask myself this "the person moves on but has the heart goes along as well....?"

i'm just but a human after all.....we were once in love......and i cherish that..... even though it was a year ago....

sighhh.....

grRRrr

2006-01-16T12:54:00.000+08:00

I am So angry at a Friend today!!! i reallY hate Him....bUt he is my beSt friend....arghhhh....!!

but sadly....he is still my friend. im not being hypocrite. im just being human.

thOu sHall lOve thY nEighbour...

2006-01-15T10:43:00.000+08:00

YaWnnnnnn....woke up kinda late todae. 10 to be precise. man...the late night supper last night makes me hungry. so i went to the kitchen to find some food to eat. WOW!! saw fried noodles...! my housekeeper told me its from our neighbour next door.....hahah man....they have been giving us food lately and we have not returned our thanks to them yet. wonder what shall we give them....hmmm....anyway....gonna call a few peeps today to watch movie with me...!! who will it be ??...i do not know.... i really wanna watch HEIRLOOM!! the trailer is scary....and i fell in love with it. hahahha....oh yeah....mom dad called saying they are fine down there. oh well....cioazzz for now.....wanna savour my food.... and search my phonebooks....hahaha

Childrens laughter.....

2006-01-13T13:13:00.000+08:00

I woke up early morning today. i went for a jog. when i finally stopped....i strolled along a path and reach a playground. kindergarten kids were playing on it. enjoying...laughing... how i miss my childhood days. deep sense of thought engulfed me....tears flow...sigh...i dunno....

I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

Song Sang By Whitney Houston

rainy rainy rainy day...

2006-01-12T10:28:00.000+08:00

its been raining for a few days huh peeps...hahhaa so cooling....but not much fun as got to stay home whole day. on leave todae. went back to camp yesterday and basically do nothing in camp....is that how ord personnel works?...hahhaa anyway... got home and guess what!!?? i received a letter that my driving lic cl3 is APRROVED!!! hahaha i can collect it on the 19 next week!!! so happy!!! hahaha finally can drive legally!! hahah...mom can i use ur car??...dad can i use ur car?? hahah....or betta still....mom dad can buy me a car!!?? hahaha fat hope!! yeah...and my dental ffi is on 6 next month. those medics wanna insert slot me on the 14th. i told him...you crazie ah?? i ord in 3 days after tat n u wan me to go ffi on that date!! hahaa finally after some hassle of him calling someone up and checking this and that he finally slot me on the 6. WAT THE HELL! not to mention it took eons to only get through their medical centre line. aiyoh..their customer service not that good. unlike me...hehehhe well at least he wish me good day and thank you before hanging up. hahah ok ok...i stop now.

resT time....

2006-01-08T21:00:00.000+08:00

finally got the rest i deserve. hahhaa....rested at home...went to malaysia. after a long week. hari raya haji is two days away. guess i will just celebrate it in a small tiny scale with my baby sister. Pray that my parents will be safe in Mecca. doing Haj is scary u noe....i mean....cases of death and injury are still reported. hope they will be okay. got back from jb just now....smooth traffic...just the way i like it. haha the onli thing is....the rain. oh me gosh!...it rained non stop. soo cold. but its betta than being hot though... oh yah...will be officiating my leave and off starting next week. but i will come back to camp maybe once a week. the rest of the days will be slacking at home. hmm...think i will get myself a new pastime... maybe i start with my fitness...??...or read some self improvement books?...or maybe...start investing in shares??...i dunno...see first laa...hahahah ORD is coming to TOWWWNNNN!!!!

FiNAlly itS FRIDAY!!!

2006-01-06T21:28:00.000+08:00

PPHHEEEEWWWWWW...........the parade is now OVER!!! hahah thnak god! its been a week of sheer sai kang and more sai kang!! really really tired now as i typed this...hahah maybe i continue some other day....ciaoooozzz

2006-01-02T11:11:00.000+08:00

Happy neW yeAr!!!

2006-01-01T23:44:00.000+08:00

woah!!....its finally here!!! new year!! hahaha new year mean im going to ord soon!!...like two more months!! hahha.....yes two!! two as in ONE....TWO!!?? two dollars?? two as in peace sign two?? yes 2!!!! hahhaha ORD!!!!!! here i come!!!!

A Year In Remembrance

2005-12-31T12:52:00.000+08:00

A year will end very soon. Onward to 2k6. What I have done for the past one year? What have I experience? What have I gained? Personally, I think the year has been tough for me. As well as enriching. Its been a lonely road. Its been a year where I left my once precious, to a lead a life. Singlehood. The day we parted last December till this December, I had always thought about you. Wondering where we made our mistakes. Wondering how did we end up in this state. Wondering why did we part. You wanted me back after a few months we parted. But I had my stand. I had myself to think about now. I was devastated. Yet I was strong. To live a year without the precious whom I spent with for so many years. But I managed to pull through. I managed. I managed with the help of a Best Friend whom I realised not the Best after all. With that words, I parted with my Best Friend as well. The year has been lonesome for me. I lost a Gem. I lost a Companion. I lost my Faith. But I sustained. I pulled through. The tears which flowed from my heart, was slowly drying up. I need to perked up my life. So I did. I made new friends. I found old friends. But in truth of everything, I found myself back. On route to Taiwan, I left all my memories behind. I wanted to concentrate while in Taiwan. Forget about the things back Home. I did. The year gave me a glimpse of hope of what I could expect in the following year. I lost a Companion. But I gained lots. I lost a Gem. But I found a Rare Jaded Crystal. Hopefully 2k6 will be a year where I would be happy and happy. Faith in God has never been good this year. Cause I realise that, no matter what bad deeds you had done, at the end of the day, never never lose Faith. Faith is key for me to attain Spiritual Happiness. Hopefully my once precious cherished all the memories we had together. Good or otherwise. My message for you: Love your precious now. Love him more than you loved me. Love him with all your true heart. Never love him base on looks or ego. Im happy for you to found him. Im happy to part with you so that you can be with him. I struggled with our separation. But I endured for the whole year. I finally realised that Im not going to be the old Herwan you knew. Im going to be nicer, kinder, mature and much more better person. I promise. Im sorry for whatever happen between us. Im sorry for I cant accept your request. You are the best thing that has ever happen to me. But you are also the worst thing that has happened to me this year. The impact is huge that I struggled emotionally, physically and spiritually. But all that is going to change. Its going to change. I promise to myself that. My hope for the New Year is the World to unite in hope and peace. I pray that it will always be. To be taught lessons that we must learn. Reach for your own star. To realize the Power of your Dreams. The year ended with the world unite in giving out peace and prayer for the victims of the Tidal Waves. Tsunami, earthquake, flood, famine are all natural disasters that can unite Earth in togetherness. But war, riots, thefts are some of the things that US humans did for our own selfishness and greed. But of course, it all those dark gloomy times, they are some, who shed a light to those in need. May God bless your kindness. For me, I hope I could not repeat my past mistakes. A mistake made, a heart shattered. Lesson learnt from the greatest togetherness I ever had. May God shed a Light on my soul. To be true to others. And most importantly, to be true to Self........

It MAde mY daY........

2005-12-30T19:30:00.000+08:00

ToDAy waS Division Family DaY helD at Safra Yishun!....reaCh thEre aroUnd 7am anD went straight for breakfaSt!...hhaha i was arrowed to replaced someone cos tat someone didnt come for the event. it was air pistol competitive category! hahaha...just for fun la...shoot only!...before my shot....i was standing outside the range fiddling with my hp....when my back was tapped.....i turned around... " General Hugh,....Yes Sir?" i was shocked! hahhaa he said " I wanna thank you for the things you had done and serve me while in Division and also in the last exercise!(SB05)" hahah....i told him...it has been an honour to serve him and i will serve him for the final time on the Change Of Command. He smiled. Told me to take good care of myself. He wished me Happy New Year and left abruptly cos his son was running around the place. hahahaha....a great man indeed. his tenure in Division is ending soon. well...All the BEst for Him in Tradoc! haha...the day ended with happy people got their lucky draw prizes. Me?...well i didnt won anything. But i won the gratitude and thanks of a man....who held a position so high and yet so humble. Unlike some people...onli specs or junior commanders who treat men below them without respect and gratitude. When was the last time a user said Thank you to me??... well...most of the time normally...cos the users knows me. but to those who dont....I never tolerated that kind of attitue. If i can make a complaint against a Major....let alone stupid specs and jr officers!!?? i may be a nothing in the army....but show me the respect then i will show you mine....speak rudely to me as though i owe you my LIFE....and i go straight to my Commander!! its that simple. why i said this is because one of my workmate was being treated like shit by one of the jr commanders of this particular battalion. i went up to him....pull away my workmate and told him...he wont be serving ur unit anymore. go and walk to your exercise ground!!....he glared at me....and i inform one of the DIV PSO's who apparently made the jr commander walk! hahha....things in the army has change. what we need from everyone now is basic RESPECT from everyone. right from rec's to the LG. well peeps....i wont start blabbering more now. scared i need to go anger management. and to my workmates....be nice to customers!...but dun let them step over your head. Cause you don earn your Life from those fuckers!!!....the lowly scum fuckers!!!! Such a MoroniC asS commAnding A platoon and section!! jeeessH!!....FUCK YOU ALL!! arrgghhh....

gOt a NEw camEra....

2005-12-28T19:34:00.000+08:00

YeahAA!!!!....i got myself a New digicAm!! hahha...cos...this morning ask mizz juli i wanna borrow her cam...but she dun wan lend me!! so sad!!...lol. so went to courts and bought a cam!! hahha...not tat ex though!!...300 for the camera!...and 50 for the extra memory card...total abt 350 i spent!...oklaa...the camera also not so fancy fancy one...just simple. hahah....oh yah....not to mention it burnt a hole in my pocket!! hahha....anyway....gonna eat durian and chicken i bought from cold storage!! yum yummm!!! hehehe...enjoy ur nite peepss!!

Wednesday.....

2005-12-28T14:14:00.000+08:00

errggh....my phone rang again. its Her. i wished she'd stop calling me. still....i asked her how she was. always having fake friendly conversations with people i cant stand...hahha thats me!!....anyway...guys....just put in the visitor counter...see...on the left hand corner...hahah cool huh!! anway...im feeling betta alreadi...hahah...okies...im out!!

What a dAY....

2005-12-27T22:12:00.000+08:00

went to camp still feelin sick! hahha...went to camps medical ctr and realise tat my queue number was 20!! YIKEESS!! no way im gonna wait that long. so i told the medic to just throw away my registration form!..hahha....so i just spend my time idling doing nothing in the office. oh yeah...later in the day...manage to talk with my new PC. hahha...he asking me to give him my pic for the orbat chart. i told him...no need laa...im ORDiing soon!! hahha yeah yeah...i will give it soon!got to know him further...where he was from...where he stay...and all those nonsense! erghh....my headache is now killing me!....lucky i took tomorrow and thurs leave!...can rest at home. friday is div family day. hope i will be well by that day!...hahha anyway...need some rest now.... nitezzz

Boxing Day....

2005-12-26T22:36:00.000+08:00

woke up kinda early and went to the equinox at swissotel with michael for lunch. wasnt feeling too good....i headed home early. then the unexpected happen!!....i FELL SICK!!! arggghhh.....and the thing is....i got no cash to see the doc. boo hoo boo hoo!...the stupid atm machine broke my card after it issued me my money!! stupid stupid raffles city machine!! and i left onli with ten dollars to see the doctor!!..oh well....got to use my emergency card!...so i went down...to the nearest clinics...and goodness gracious!!! all are close!! idiot!!....finally decided to just report sick in camp tomolo....hmmm wunder wat will happen to me if there is an emergency and i need a doctor fast??oh yah....there is 995.
anyway....raffles city was full of people. ergh...but not in the mood to actualli be ard people. hope i will be fine veri veri soon....so sad.....veri sad....veri sad....

thinking Of waT is thE meaning oF liFe......

2005-12-25T17:11:00.000+08:00

So as i Sat down at home on this holiday....i was thinking about life. hahah ok ok....but yeah i was thinking....so the question is what is life?? What is the meaning?? there is no perfect answer to it the way i see it. i mean think about it. u could give me 1001 answers....but none could actually makes you think...YES tat is the meaning of life. get it??....no??...neither do i. anyway....Life is a Life. that is what i must made known to me. am i blabbering nonsense?? dun think so. im in a sane mind when i type this. i mean.....what is good in living a life where you do not do anything that is good. like volunteering to the zoo or sumtin...or donating to NKF for example. i mean....we must always do good right. so tat ur conscience is in a clear state of mind...and always filled with content and happiness!! am i right?? i think i am!!....i mean....There is GOD. so we should just look up and wonder....if GOD created me.....surely HE wants me live my life at its fullest!!...but does tat mean i should enjoy??....or does tat mean i should do good all the way!?...hmm...the answers lies in each of you peeps hearts!...i don noe the answer seriously. im just here....always here always be.

iTS ChristmaS EvryoNE!

2005-12-25T12:50:00.000+08:00

HEy PeePs! jusT woKE up anD im haviNg a Super headachE!! hahah went to momo last nite with jules and met up with her friends. There was this particular gal...whom acted like a real super doopey 100% confirm Bitch! hahha...momo was P.A.C.K.O!!! hear that!!?? PACKO!! i manage to onli drink onli one glass of drink there!! cos i realli do not like to walk from my dance spot to the bar. cos i will be engulf in the sea of babes and hunks....hmmm...tats a good thing right? hahah..anyway....went back at 4 cos legs are killing me!! got a cab home onli after i had cup noodles from 7 11!! oooHH and saw a very major accident at the BKE. i mean....how major you may ask??....try 3 police cars.....2 tow trucks...1 Red Rhino....1 Fire Engine....2 Ambulance.....and sea of KAYPOH people by the side of the road!!...i mean they actually park their cars and watch!!....i think trying to get hold of the license plate number. oh well....when i got home....i automatically flunked!! realli realli cant handle the late night anymore....guess im getting old.....NAH!! hahah anyway.....HAPPY HOLIDAYS everyone!! oh yah...tAts Me in tHE cAb!
PS: Michael, u r coming back on Boxing Day right??

Eve Of KriSmaSSS....

2005-12-24T19:35:00.000+08:00

oh well....now at juli's place. hanging ard here before going to momo at nite later on. so yesterday i went to town. got myself a nice shirt at ck tang. maybe will be wearing it tonite....maybe not..hahah. yup yup....jules cook some noodles...mee penang or sumtin like tat. its nice jules...thanks. hahah tommorow is christmas. hope it wont be sooo packo at momo....hahah oh well...happy holidays peeps!! oh yeah....tats the ghost of christmas present....hahha nah...tats jules....in her face mask....vanity in every woman...geeshh

back from malaysia

2005-12-22T20:43:00.000+08:00

right.....so im back from malaysia. JB to be precise. hahaha...went to meet up with my parents.....ate seafood... hahha...yum yum!!...yesterday ...dad cook lamb chop for me!! and today he prepared spaghetti!!! absultely delicious!! hahah....love dad so much!...you too mum!! and sis!!....hahah....it was packo full of people at SG customs!!...saw a few eye candies here and there...hahah anyway....yeap...cant waith to party this 24.....well guys.....and michael....when r u cumin back???

The start of the week......

2005-12-19T21:10:00.000+08:00

so i did my duty yesterday. was so bored that i actualli went to the medical centre and hang around with the medics....it was like a eat sleep watch dvd and sleep kind of duty. nothing to do. so went i went back to my HQ, i also had nothing to do. saw a lot of newly posted personnel from tekong and 1 sir. hahaha...they r in for a jolly good time!! hahaha anyway...im on leave as you all noe. hahaha so....

arrgghhhh!!

2005-12-17T16:56:00.000+08:00

ok.....so i was lazing ard at home doing some home shopping...wat!?? home shopping??....well yes...u noe the tv innovation thing??..hahha...yeah so...while watching....my msn jingled!! so i went to have a look and its my campmate. asking me whether im on duty tomolo. i said no. he said yes. i will be taking over someone!! WTH!!!!????? i blown my head over the top for a few moments....then i realise... hey...i have not done any duty in months. yeah so wat the hell....just accept it. it will one of my last duties in the army since my stint in SAF is coming to an end soon. yeah guys!! so tomorrow i got some last minute arrowed detail. hahha...oh well....tell me abt it!!

btw juliana....i checked. dbl o on krismas eve cover charge is $35!... so we go momo first then dbl o then momo again ya!!...hahah...

SPRING CLEANING.....in winter??

2005-12-16T19:58:00.000+08:00

So i woke up super early today and got a sms from andrew asking me for out for breakfast.....so yeah we forced michelle into coming as well.....hahah...went to Ya Kun Kaya toast at cosway for some bread...eggs....and tea!...hmmm...yummy!...went to supermarket ang got some home neccesities....its tough staying in a house all by yourself ya know! when i reach home.....did lots n lots of cleaning!....from the sink to the rooms to the toilet!!...MAN!!! is tis the new age houseman!!?? hahah was mentioning to juli yesterday tat i need a WOMAN in my life NOW!!!!hahha *wink*

so anyway....feel pretty sastified tat my house is kinda clean....i think! and one more thing....i realli hate it if im on leave....ppl from camp calling me and asking me where am i....why am i not in camp....wats my status and wat not!! i mean....u shld find out first before calling me and smsing me!! thank god i did not answer their calls!!....hahah....anyway....time to bath now....hadnt had a bathe since morning.....feel so yucki after all those cleaning....oh well....cioaxxx peeps!

i HAte TaxiiiI!!!!!!!

2005-12-15T23:53:00.000+08:00

ok so shoot mE!! I NOE THE PREVIOUS POST I MENTIONED tat im happy with taxi services here....well i change my mind!! they are insincere jerks!! made me waited n waited for taxis!! even the line was engage!!...finally got a cab after 1 freaking hour!! what the hell!!!!

watched King Kong with jason yesterday ...super boring sia........3 hrs movie...didnt know it so freaking long.....didnt even see the king kong for the 1st hr of the movie then the 2nd hr was like jurassic park...so many dinosaurs....crazi movie....realli craziii.....

well....so much for craziness in a week!!!.....

thE sUn is Super Sexy todaY......

2005-12-14T11:52:00.000+08:00

mY my my.....woke up and i cant believe the time.....1146AM!!! even pigs don sleep till tat late.....hmmmm this cant be happening!! hahaha.....oh well....went over to bugis ard afternoon yesterdae....and had a quick dinner there. boy...tat place was PACK.....even on weekdays! hahha...anyway...when the guys went back home...i decided to go to samar cafe and buy back lamb shank. delicious!! so yeap....took a cab home....and i always love the cabby who speed and reach my place without going round and round or the long route!....i mean....now they are trying to promote tipping in taxi industry....hey wat the hell....im ok with with it. as long as the cabby is sincere enough. unlike some who would travel the long way just to earn a few extra dollars.....but its still no good ok! TO ALL THE CABBIES OUT THERE, SO FAR IM ENJOYING YOUR SERVICES. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!! hahaha....Herwan??...what are you typing??

monday....

2005-12-12T22:57:00.000+08:00

monday is coming to an end. ive decided to take leave and off up till 23rd. hehehe except for next monday where i will werk for a day!....yipppeee......then can parrrrttyyyy!!!....cant wait.
oh yeah...got home way early todae....cos got to send a secret doc to division commander at his residence. so yeah. his dog greeted with me excitement. guess wat is his dogs name. the same name as his. hahaha....sounds cute huh. anyway....gave him the doc and got back home. pheeww......if u r a general....anything can go ur way....even though asking ppl to send doc to ur house!! hhaha...but i have no complains to tat. anyway....good nite peeeps.......sleepi now!

bloAted.....

2005-12-12T00:39:00.000+08:00

just got back from having seafood.....buuurpp!! excuse me. ordered fish...clams..meat..veges.....lychees...bandung!! it was superb!...and onli cost us less than $$50!!....thanks juli!! hahha took a cab home...cos realli cant walk anymore. and also...my slipper broke!!..boo hoo.....lucky its a cheap one....hahaha
And we decided to go to dbl o this christmas eve!! WEEEEE!! oh well....as for now...need to sleep. must wake up early to go back camp!.....nitezzz peepss!!

The Woman Of My Life

2005-12-11T13:05:00.000+08:00

yes...that is the woman of my life. love her exceptionally!! hahaha.....LOVE LIVE THE QUEEN!!! ahakzzz

by the way......

2005-12-10T23:04:00.000+08:00

oh yah before i forget.....i must show sumtin to a fren. hopefulli u noe who u r!
phew finally got it off my chest....some of it tat is!!

..........

2005-12-10T22:58:00.000+08:00

Well....a day has past silently again!....it has been a regretful day where ive made a few regretable decisions...now im soo depress. oh well....on a brighter note... i will be going to eat seafood with juli tomolo at al ameen!! yeeee cant wait!! oh yaa...tats juli and me on the pic.....

its Over fiNalli

2005-12-10T12:50:00.000+08:00

finally ex sb 05 is over!....but overall...tat is my best Excersice i ever had!..hahah...of cos laa....no outfield....no combat ration...no staying overnite. but it is realli taxing....!the fun thing was....i drove the rexton ard...!! no one in camp except a few of the regulars can drive rexton!! ahemm ahemm...hmm....now is 1247pm....wunder wat will i do todae...oh gosh!..its pay day today!!...i forgot abt it!! hahah oh well peeps.....

i miss

2005-12-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

it's that kind of slow slow night.....where the time seems not to be moving....where it extremely quiet....i'm listening to some old english songs in my playlist...........and i'm thinking what i have been missing......

missing .....................

pri sch days where i play hide & seek before the school hall stage....

sec sch where we did push up under the hot sun in npcc shouting "yes IC !"...

all those nightover at my place playing computer games and watching porn in the afternoon...

beautiful stars & sunrise on top of mt.kinabalu.....

athletic days at sec sch where we really push ourselves......,tears when we lost our races........hugs and the bond that make us so strong

my still crazy days in army,............my overseas trips

and my ex sweetie pie.....the times we where together.....it was really really nice~

everyone has their own memories......these are mine to keep....it may be in the past but it always somewhere near me .....that's what makes humans special....

....i guess ...

Had the tHRILL of MY life!!

2005-12-07T22:24:00.000+08:00

so i went out with michael today. and he decided to ride his BIKE!!! i realli hate it....told him to just drive his car...but he dun wanna too!...so i had to pillion him!! ohhh....i dun wanna do it again...i realli hate motorbikes!! and he speed!!! hahah...so we went river valley rd to have dinner....later went to samar cafe at arab st to chillz......saw sum suria production crews there....i think for sum drama shooting or sumtin!...wwell....anyway...time to tuck in...nitezzzz

COA visit

2005-12-06T22:03:00.000+08:00

chief of army came down to our ex ground in conjuction of ex Switchblade 05. walk around here and there....manage to shook hands with him ahem ahem. his entourage is so large.....all walking behind him.... SWO francis....the army RSM was there too...
6 division tried to look garang here and there...but hey...who are they kidding... COA has been to this kind of EX numerous times!! hahah...can even see who wayang a lot one!! anyway....manage to come home early todae....but tomolo need to set off to jurong camp early....way early!!!....hahah....and michael....don forget tomolo plans ya!!!

30 things guys should know about girls...

2005-12-06T10:19:00.000+08:00

It not my idea to put this up..so Dun slap me...a gd fren of mine told me to put it out ...actually it quite true at some point after reading it ....

Written by a guy. After years of experience.

1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their
house...they run around in their underwear just
like we do..

2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but
girls tell each other everything about everything.
Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.

3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy
friends. Any of them would kick your butt at the
drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait
for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're
beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If
they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If
they're going out with you in the first place, it's
because they like being in your arms.

8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your
friends that you did.

8.5. If you DO sleep with them, do not tell your
friends that you did.

9. Don't ever do anything wrong. girls remember
things for life and anything you did wrong will be
used against you in the future.

10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can
eat like whales. (tee hee.)

11. Most of them don't mind paying half of
everything, but they do discuss these things with
their friends. Realize that if you make your
girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know
about it and your friends will know you're a
pussy.

11.5. Do you honestly need all your money that
much? Be a man, pay all the time!

12. Every girl should eventually get three things
from her boyfriend- a dinner by him, one of his
sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not
a serious relationship.

13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as
you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the
door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure
she's home safely.

14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to kick
the crap out of him.

15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull
your girlfriend closer.

16. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking
way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh,
you're so dumb" or something, never make any
gestures back.

17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't
care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters
that you went.

18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with
their pets, parents and best friends. Be prince
charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their
parents,
and make sure to be nice to their animals

19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.

20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross,
and it really does make them feel like crap, so be
understanding.

21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.

22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing
her to your friends, you'd better damn well
introduce her as your girlfriend.

23. Don't stress where you go for every date.
They really only want to be with you.

24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for
them without being asked.

25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play
fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.

26. Memorize their birthdays. You forget her
birthday and you're basically screwed for life.

27. Don't marinade the cologne.

28. Don't give her something stupid for her
birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't
have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful.

29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last,
don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if
you draw it out.

30. After you've been dating for a while, realize
that they really have started to trust you. When
you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you
have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control
than you would think.

feelin good....

2005-12-04T23:57:00.000+08:00

went to michaels place ard evenin....had a booze...now feeling veri veri sleepi....
shld not have drank. oh well....hope i cld wake up tomolo mornin!!

Sunday sunday

2005-12-04T15:06:00.000+08:00

my mum was absoultely shocked to find her son waking up at 6.45am and brushing his teeth ....she was like telling me " hey, you dun need to go army anymore boy! " i was like ........plsssssseeeeee!! i ordiing in 2 mths.... lots of priveleges hahha....i dun think im so hardcore to sleepwalk,waking up to brush teeth.

went to Ya Kun Kaya Toast at causeway point with andrew to have breakfast.....the bread and kaya sure is yummy....after which was suppose to go sentosa but weather still a bit badz so decided to check back later in the afternoon.....pick books up from lisa and went home for a nap before andrew woke me up to tell me the sun is up. oh well....do wat ya gonna do man....FETCH ME!!! hahaha

shaggeD!!!

2005-12-03T21:24:00.000+08:00

it has been a stressful week for me....all this division exercise and wat not!!...
many thanks for all those unexpected gifts!! hehehe hahah.....anyway...guys...so sorry for not contacting ya all for a long time....its just tat...im very busy! hahah

its my BIRTHDAY!!!

2005-11-29T21:06:00.000+08:00

hahaha its my birthday today....and no im not celebrating it with a grand affair. thanks to moi frens who sms me and tried to called me and 12 midnite....but i was sleeping laa!! hahah...anyway....will be going out with gang this comin weekend....so tat will be my birthday bash!!...sigh....im alreadi 21!! arrgghhhh...hahha

crusH!!??

2005-11-28T20:35:00.000+08:00

hmm....actualli....i got a crush on someone!!...hahah...saw this person last week and have been liking the someone ever since!! shit!!!....it shldnt happen!!.....i have always told myself not to get involve in love!! HERWAN HERWAN HERWAN WAKE UP!!!
arrgghh...dunno wat to do.....but the thing is...i dun noe that person well....i wunder how i can say hello.....
anyway...today is the 28.....hmmm...tat means tommorrow is 29! if my memory serves me right.....its my BIRTHDAY tommorrow!! hahaha....so guys.....keep those presents coming in ya!!...hahah thick skin!!

Well well.......

2005-11-27T22:44:00.000+08:00

OOoohh guYsss!!....yeaP!!....my blog site is now 94% complete!!! so happy!! all thanks to hafiiz!! he is good man!!!....anyway....its late at nite now...need to sleep.....so nitezzz guyszzz.......see yaa all!!

thinking....

2005-11-27T10:54:00.000+08:00

i was just lazing around when suddenly it hit me. there is this feeling abt life. i sat down....thinking abt wat im gonna do with it. i cant possibly spend weekends going out enjoy. i cant possibly spend the nights in front of comp or with friends. my stint in the army is finishing soon. i wunder wat sort of person i will be in the time to come. wat will i achieve. wat will i gain. i hate this kind of feeling. but i have to go thru with it whether i like it or not....!! oh well....till the time comes.....guys...wanna go out laterzzz...??

ItS a SundAy!!

2005-11-27T09:03:00.000+08:00

yAwnnn.....sunday sunday sunday....hmmm....wat shall i do with it....? none of my friends will be free todae....hmm....maybe i just try juli to see if she is free to go makan makan laterzzz....anyway...had a wunderful dream last nite....! hehehe cant mention much though.....

im soooo having trouble!!!

2005-11-26T21:08:00.000+08:00

well guys!!...as u all know...im new at this blog thingy.....and i feel like i wanna quit it!! hahah its so difficult to actualli have my own custom made skins.....shoutbox(recommended by a fren). arrgghhh..... hahaa...but will be getting the hang of it soon!! dum di dummm

WoopPPiiiiiiiiiiiieEEE

2005-11-26T20:28:00.000+08:00

Well well well.....finally guys i have my own blog.....after being pestered by friends and being a lame aS* and being backward(huh).....what the hell......anyway guys....here i am.....but hey....im still new at this....so GIMME a break ya peeps!!